Weird Wikis
by Squidkid11
Summary: I don't own any of the bolded content in this story. Or the characters, for that matter. Who's Roger?
1. Roger?

Found this hilarious site earlier, check it out if you want. Segaforums Wiki. Google it. (because I can't post links. D: )

And then this happened.

* * *

A red Blur came out of nowhere. An No, I am not insane, and I don't mean a blue blur.

Sonic yelped as a mittened fist grabbed that-one-spot-that-everyone-seems-to-love-to-grab-even-though-he-doesn't-have-a-neck-to-grab and pinned him down. (whew) "Knuckles!?" He gasped, eyeing the other fist carefully-it was currently drawn back in the position saying 'I'll punch your face if you make one wrong move.' We all know that position. "What're you-" He broke off, ears flattening as Knuckles screeched at him.

"ALRIGHT, ROGER, WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THE REAL SONIC?!"

One of Sonic's ears rose in confusion. "Knuckles, have you been on the internet again?"

The Echidna turned even redder. "Uh…well…"

"Thought so."

Knuckles growled, making the ear flatten again. "That's besides the point, what'd you do with the real Sonic?"

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Knux."

The Echidna snorted, letting go of that-one-spot-that-everyone-seems-to-love-to-grab-even-though-he-doesn't-have-a-neck-to-grab and Sonic sighed in relief. Only to yelp as Knuckles grabbed his ear. "OW! OW! OK OW!" He yelped, his head bent in an attempt to lessen the pressure forced onto it as Knuckles dragged him to an undisclosed location.

That location happened to be Sonic's house. Knuckles slammed the door open and Tails grimly turned to the echidna.

Sonic grinned from behind the red shape. "H-Hey Tails. Wanna help me out a-"

"Shut up, Roger."

Sonic blinked as Tails cut him off. That was weird. And…"Why do you two keep calling me Rog-OWOWOWOWOWOWOW LAY OFF THE EAR MAN!"

Knuckles finally let go of a certain hedgehog's ear after hauling him over to the couch. "Read it, Tails." The echidna grumped.

"Read wha-OW! I GET IT I GET IT!" Sonic ruefully rubbed at his sore ear, which was now folded over at an odd angle over his head.

Tails rotated his wheeled chair back to the computer with as much evil intent as an eight-year-old bright orange two-tailed fox could muster.

**"Roger the Porcupine."**

"I really don't see how this has ANY relevance to me. IF you hadn't noticed, I'm a hedgehog."

**"Roger the Porcupine is a blue porcupine with green eyes."**

Heads turned.

"OK, so he looks like me. Big deal!"

Tails kept reading.

**"He secretly got rid of his brother in 1998 and took his place as "Sonic" when the SEGA Dreamcast game, Sonic Adventure, was released."**

Silence.

"Bullcrap." Sonic deadpanned.

**"Since then he's been taking on Sonic's identity every Sonic game from 1998 onwards."**

More Silence.

"HEY! THOSE ARE MY GAMES!"

**"He's currently in Sonic Generations working together with the real Sonic, who is still unaware of Roger's evil ways!"**

"Oh Come on! That was just some make-up and a lot of video editing! And I'm not currently working on it. That came out a while ago."

**"However, due to some history changes, some claim to have sighted Roger in the past too, more precisely, Sonic 4."**

"Okay, does anyone know what that means?" That was Tails this time.

Silence.

"Then we'll ignore that part because it doesn't help our case."

**"Backstory"**

"I already know my past, Thank-you-very-much."

**"It's originally thought to be that Roger sealed Sonic away in a mountain in Daytona USA (1994)."**

"WHAT IN THAT SENTENCE MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL?!"

**"Sonic Adventure (1998) was Rogers first appearance. "**

"No. It wasn't. It was just the point that they finally figured that it's stupid for me to continually go to the make-up room before every game to get my design changed."

**"Since then Roger has claimed Sonic's place as the main character of the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise."**

"Hey! I've always been the main character! Me! Sonic the Hedgehog! Not some crack-pot rip-off!"

**"Sonic's friends have yet to notice the difference and usually just assume Sonic just got plastic surgery."**

"Until now." Knuckles grinned evilly.

"Even I have to admit that's bogus." Tails now. "It takes ages for you to get over that and Sonic was never missing."

"THANK YOU!"

**"However, Knuckles the Echidna appears to be catching on."**

Silence.

"I thought Knuckles was gullible?"

At this point Sonic cracked up.

"What?"

"If Knux is so gullible, he'd believe anything on the internet!"

The addressed turned pink.

**"In his early years, Roger attempted to make Sonic infamous by putting up billboards [of Sonic] in other SEGA games. Basically ****_every_**** SEGA game in the 90's contains some sort of Sonic reference."**

"OK, First off, there's a good reason. I'm the SEGA mascot! Of course there's billboards of me in their games! And Second, How does that make me infamous?"

**"Trolling SEGA."**

"I've actually been wanting to do that since Sonic '06."

**"Many presume the main reason SEGA died is Sony, but in actuality it was Roger."**

"When did SEGA die?"

**"Roger was always a Nintendo fan and was always out to kill both SEGA and Sonic. "**

"….What….."

**"During Sega's Dreamcast reign, Roger completed his dastardly scheme. He finally killed off SEGA. A job well done by Roger, might he add."**

"Where did they get this information?"

**"Roger proceeded to seal Sonic in a mountain and ultimately went on to steal Sonic's identity."**

"It's really hard to steal the identity of a Super-Sonic-transforming-blue-hedgehog-mobian. You guys know that, right?"

**"Ever since Roger has been appearing in Sonic games, he's been trolling Sonic Fans (Now turning them into his own fans,) in an attempt to make Sonic games look bad."**

"I had no say in the plot of Sonic '06."

**"In Sonic 06 Roger gave his greatest effort yet, even going as far as altering his appearance just for that game."**

"How did I look any different? Aside from terrible graphics, anyway."

**"That game may have never happened, but Roger remembers the day he killed off everything."**

"That was the director. Not me."

**"2010-Present Day"**

"I know my own history, thank you."

**"In 2010, a space-time rift suddenly appeared, causing history to change."**

"….I'm assuming that was Silver and Shadow."

**"New events unfolded in the time between 1994 and 1998, and Roger could be seen in Splash Hill Zone."**

"…..Sure…."

** "What was going on, and why had history changed?"**

"Shadow and Silver were fighting."

**"Roger was, of course, interested in understanding, but he had his own scheme to take care of."**

"The only scheme I have is taking down 'Buttnik."

**"A short time after the space-time rift went away in the present day, Roger traveled to Dr. Eggbotnik's Amazing Interstellar Amusement Park, located in space."**

"I know what went on in Sonic Colors. No need to tell me."

**"Here, Roger experienced an adventure that actually was GOOD, to his own surprise."**

"Why is that so surprising? I'm awesome!"

**"Why was it good?"**

"Because I'm awesome."

**"Maybe Roger took his impersonation of his rival too far."**

"I told you! It's because I'm awesome!"

**"Being angry over his failure to troll Sonic Fans, Roger began planning something dastardly for his rival's twentieth birthday."**

"Hey, that birthday was awesome! Aside from the monster thing."

**"The birthday was held the next year, 2011. Just when Roger was about to troll Sonic's shitty friends, the space-time rift suddenly appeared again, sucking him and the other furries into a white limbo."**

"YO! WATCH THE LANGUAGE! I'M _NOT_ SHADOW!"

"That's right. You're Roger."

"If it wasn't for the fact that you're sitting on me, Red, you'd be dead."

**"Roger, surprised over this incident, met up with Tails and the others, trying to figure out where they were. Apparently, they were outside time itself."**

"Yea. I know."

**"Suddenly, Roger stood face to face with his rival!"**

"Computers rock, you know that?"

**"Shocked, he thought that his evil plans had been uncovered, but that was not the case."**

"Yea. Because I didn't HAVE any evil plans."

**"The Sonic standing before him simply was an older variant of the guy he sealed in the mountain. Therefore, his rival didn't treat him as an enemy."**

"I will never understand fans."

**"Roger pretty soon found out that he and the other guys could "fix" time from the white limbo."**

"Yes. By beating the time-eater-thing."

**"By Roger, "fixing" meant changing the history to get rid of Sonic forever."**

"Obviously he failed, because I'm still here."

**"But how would this be possible?"**

"It isn't."

**""You change a tiny bit here and a tiny bit there", Roger thought, while smiling."**

"Where these creeps in his head the whole time? Where did they get this?"

**"Roger's primary target became Little Planet. Here, he "fixed", or rather messed up, time so much that Sonic never was able to collect all the Time stones, or destroy Dr. Eggbotniks machines in the past."**

"…..Yeeeeaa…weirdos."

**"This caused the "bad future" to become canon, resulting in Sonic having to fight Metal Sonic in the bad future stage."**

"It was made cannon in Sonic '06. Even though I REALLY wish that game hadn't happened."

**"This led to Metal Sonic not getting very damaged by the battle, and Dr. Eggbotnik retaining his hold of little Planet."**

"Eggman's never kept control of anything while I'm around!"

**"Roger and Sonic then proceeded to defeat the Time Eater, the thing responsible for the time-space rifts."**

"Yes. We did."

**"Returning to his present time, Roger laughed at how the new history soon would take effect, giving him the almost endless possibilities to troll Sonic Fans even harder."**

"How does that make sense?"

**"This explained Sonic 4."**

"Explains what?"

**"Sonic didn't save Little Planet in the new timeline, giving Dr. Eggbotnik the possibility to build up a giant army."**

"Eggman just has a ton of time on his hands."

**"When the next "time wave" appeared, Sonic 4 Episode 2 took over yet a bit of the old canon."**

"Was there ever a new canon?"

**"The doctor now had succeeded in transforming Little planet to the Death Egg m.k. II."**

"….What…."

**"For some reason, Roger went into space with Tails, to inspect the new Death Egg. Why?"**

Because Tails and I are buddies. Duh."

"Thanks Soni-I mean, Shut it, Roger."

**"It is still unknown why Roger is running around in the past."**

"Because he's not here?"

**"Did the new timeline make it possible for him to get rid of Sonic even earlier than before?"**

"I dunno."

**"We may, or may not know."**

"Didn't I JUST say that?"

**"However, it is most certain that Roger is going in for the final kill now, in this twisted new timeline…"**

"Yeesh. He sounds worse than Mephiles."

**"Meeting Shadow"**

"Fun."

**"In Sonic Adventure 2, Roger met Shadow, who is now aware of Roger's evil ways."**

"I thought it said only Knux was aware?"

**"But Shadow doesn't tell anyone do to death threats from Roger."**

"How is…what…why…is that even possible for Shadow to be scared of someone?"

**"Alex Kidd?"**

"What about 'im?"

**"Some speculate that Roger is actually Alex Kidd in disguise."**

"Crazy Fangirls."

**"Think about it for a sec."**

"Already did."

**"Alex Kidd is ultra butthurt because Sonic took his spotlight, so he decides an evil master plan to kill him off."**

"Remind me to watch my back now, K?"

**"This is currently being investigated."**

"It better."

"That's it, Knuckles." Tails spun his chair around to face the two.

"Great. Now can you get Mister Paranoid off of me?"

"I think Roger's-" Sonic let out a sound of indignation "-given us enough proof that he's Sonic. You can get off him now, Knux."

Sonic let out a breath of relief. "Thank you, bud." A mischievous grin crossed his face. "Say…Does that website have anything on Knuckles?"

The echidna turned bone-white. "Oh Chaos…."

He sprinted for the door, only to find a certain blue speedster with an annoyingly humongous grin plastered on his face. "C'mon KNux. I endured the torture, now it's your turn." He cooed, pushing Said echidna back to the couch, then sitting threateningly nearby with some rather sharp quills raised, a massive smirk planted firmly on his face. He wasn't going anywhere.

Tails-meanwhile-ticked away at the keys, then searched the results. He grinned as he pulled it up. "Here we go! This what you're looking for, Sonic?"

The hedgehog smiled as he read the first part. Definitely Tails. Definitely."

Knuckles groaned.

* * *

Stay tuned for Knux's turn!

I took the bolded the parts directly from the wiki, so I don't own those. The characters aren't mine either. I only own the writing.

Hope you enjoyed, and review if you did!


	2. Eco-Drunk Mole

Finally got around to doing this one. Uhg. Motivation left me. Sorry.

* * *

"Is there ANY chance of you letting me go right now?"

"Notta one, KNux. Notta one."

"Figured. Well, let's get it over with. Can't be that bad."

"Tails?"

"Yea Sonic?"

"Read please."

"**Knuckles the Echidna.**"

"Thanks for the introduction."

"**Knuckles is a short-tempered eco-drunk mole with dreams of being better than Roger the Porcupine.**"

"AN ECO-DRUNK MOLE?!"

"I believe you were saying something, Mole?"

"Strike one, Hedgehog."

"But the Short-tempered part is spot-on."

"Strike two."

"Seriously! And so is the part about you wanting to be better than this Roger guy! If everyone thinks he's me, then you want to be better than me!"

"Hedgehog..."

"Serious-OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW-Shutting up."

"Thank you."

"**He is the fourth most popular character in the series after Tails, Shadow, and Sonic.**"

"FOURTH?! I'M WAY BETTER THAN THIS HEDGEHOG!"

"I rest my case."

"How's your ear feeling, Sonic?"

"Shutting up."

"**Knuckles is rougher than the rest of the characters.**"

"Got that right."

"Hey, Knux?"

"WHAT."

"Doesn't your themesong start like that?"

"..."

"**He happens to be the best of them, and is tougher than leather.**"

"Sounds a lot like the song."

"Hedgehog, you are this close to loosing that ear."

"**He likes to be called Knuckles, and unlike Sonic, he doesn't chuckle, he actually prefers to flex his muscles.**"

"CALLED IT!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF CHAOS HEDGEHOG!"

"Gah! Tails! Help! He's escaping!"

The sound of breaking furniture and a few yelps from both red and blue parties later, both were back on the couch. Sonic nursing two sore ears, and Knuckles pulling blue quills from his fur.

"Can I keep going?"

"N-"

"YES."

"I hate you so much hedgehog."

"**Controversy**"

"What controversy?"

"Listen and we'll find out."

"**Knuckles has claimed that he does not chuckle.**"

"I don't."

"**Yet, he spends the majority of Sonic 3 &amp; Knuckles chuckling.**"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You know..."

"Not. One. Word."

"...They've got a point. GAH! KNUX THAT WAS FOUR WORDS NOT ONE! OWOWOWOW CUT IT OUT MAN!"

"**This has confused a great deal of fans.**"

"Me too."

"Hedgehog..."

"**Downfall.**"

"What downfall?!"

"Shut up and we'll-AAAH! SHUTTINGUPSHUTTINGUPSHUTTINGUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!"

"**Over the years, Knuckles has grown less independent, less intelligent, and eventually even less powerful and has been used often for comedic effect in the series and is often referred to as the butt-monkey of the series by fans.**"

"Ohh, Sorry for your loss, Knux."

"You REALLY wanna loose that ear, huh?"

"What? They aren't lying."

"I'm giving you one more chance before the ear comes off."

"** Even worse; his character has become completely irrelevant in the more recent games, such as Sonic Lost World, where he does less than Amy and is essentially a cameo.**"

"I see your mouth open one more time, Sonic, and I'll fill it with my fist."

"**This can be blamed on the Sola Sonica fans or perhaps it's due to the rumor that the almighty Takashi Iizuka hates the character.**"

"Hedgehog, stop laughing."

"**The New Knuckles**"

"Finally."

"**...who are we talking about again?**"

"AAH! Knuckles, I'm just reading what the site says I swear!"

"Knux! Leave Tails out of this!"

"I see you enjoy my Knuckle Sandwich, hedgehog, have some more!"

A few bruises and broken pieces of furniture later...

"I hate this site."

"Shucks for you, I did too. Deal with it."

"There's not much left, Knuckles."

"Fine, Tails, finish it."

"**Comic Appearances**"

"This can't be that bad..."

"Don't put anything past this site, Hedgehog, or it'll be you I punch instead of that monitor."

"**Knuckles plays a pretty mammoth part in the Archie and Fleetway comics both, wherein he had his own supporting cast.**"

"The Chaotix?"

"Supporting Cast? Them? Don't say that to their faces, Knux. Vector'd have a fit."

"**He was violated by Ken Penders, who believed he is the professional that brought value to the echidna in the comic.**"

"Violated? Ooh, boy, Knux. AHHHH! TAILS! HOW MUCH IS LEFT!?"

"That's it Sonic!"

"THANK CHAOS!"

"Aw, Knux! Don''t leave! Don't you wanna stay for Tails' turn?"

Two heads suddenly turned towards the fox, both with sly smirks. The fox paled. "Uh, guys? What're you looking at me like that for?"

Sonic grinned massively. "We both did it, Tails. Your turn."

The fox whimpered and his ears flattened. "Aw, man..."

* * *

Seems like hurting Sonic's ear is going to be a thing now. XD

Hope you enjoyed, and leave a review if you did!


	3. Female

Well. This took forever. what, over three months? Yeesh.

Sorry guys, motivation for this one is ridiculously inconsistent.

Tails' is really short, so I'm including the trivia section in this one.

Hope you enjoy!

Oh, finally convinced my mom to let me use some mild swearing in my stories. ;P

* * *

**Review Replies**

**Guest: **Indeed he did.

**Raven the Demon Hedgehog:** I though the eco-drunk mole was ridiculous. And here's your answer! (Also, does your name have anything to do with Teen Titans? If so, can I direct you to my story Blue Titans...?)

* * *

"Please let me go, Knuckles."

"Nope. You put Sonic and I through this torture, your turn."

"Can you at least not sit on me?"

"Seriously, Knux. He hasn't tried running yet. Leave it for that."

"Fine. Just read it."

**"Miles 'Tails' Prower"**

"Just get to the good stuff."

"Fine. Sheesh."

**"Another re-occurring character in the Sonic games."**

"Knew that."

"So far this unimpressive compared to yours."

"Shush Tails."

**"Tails ha two tails which let him fly and is Sonic's sidekick."**

"The kid's right, Sonic."

"No! Wait! Look what it's got in strike through!"

**"He also stole Sonic's airplane and put his logo on it."**

"Did not!"

"..."

"Well, I do have it, but Sonic gave it to me! He said he ran faster than it flew anyway!"

"Never said you could put your logo on it."

"That was on the Tornadow-2! The Tornado-1 doesn't!"

"How many Tornado's do you have, Sonic?"

"Um...well...there was...Hey! Irrelevant."

**"Game Appearances"**

"Umm...All of them?"

"Tails, shush."

**"Almost every game after Sonic 1."**

"Hah! Toldja, Knuckles."

"It said almost."

"...Party pooper..."

**"Sonic 4 Episode 11"**

"Is than an eleven or a two in Roman Numerals?"

"Lemme see, Sonic."

"M'Kay."

"...Um..."

"Alright, HEY TAILS GET BACK HERE!"

"And you said I shouldn't sit on him."

"Well you can do it now."

"HEY!"

**"It has been revealed he has an appearance, just like any other major news this has caused hype and concern abut playability and physics."**

"Why physics?"

"Well, considering Sonic destroys them every time he starts moving-"

"HEY!"

"-It's a valid concern, Tails."

"True."

**"Of course many arguments among the SEGA forum members."**

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What does that have anything to do with anything?"

"Moving on."

**"In relation to this Ken Balough appeared with an amazing Tails'related beard."**

"Again, why is this here?"

**"Most people think Tails has better gameplay and controls in the game."**

"I'll say it again if I need to."

**"H&amp;H Games"**

"What?"

"I dunno."

**"As expected he as appeared many if this games, Mostly backed by Barongrackle."**

"First off, nice grammar, Sonic."

"That's what is says on the site!"

"Second, what's Barongrackle?"

"No clue, shush."

**"So far no major victories to his name..."**

"HEY!"

"This is still not nearly as insulting as ours was."

"THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE YELLING ABOUT?!"

"Oh, hi Shadow."

"Trying to make fun of Tails."

"And failing."

"Don't count your flickies 'till they hatch Tails. We've got one section left."

"Hm. I'll listen."

"Only if we can do you next."

"I have no idea why you're grinning like a drunk hyena, but fine, Faker."

"YES!"

**"Trivia"**

"I win."

"Hush, tails. This is the fun part."

**"Thought to be female by many people for some reason."**

"HEY!"

"we finally hit the good stuff, huh, Knux?"

"We did."

**"He is immortal, and has unlimited lives in some Sonic Games."**

"Those games hurt."

**"Make fun of him and you'll get beat to death by his loyal fans."**

"Hah! Can you say as much, Sonic?!"

"I've got a one-person Army."

"Who?"

"Amy."

"...oh..."

**"Tails got his 2 tails by kicking Chuck Norris because his movies were so awesome."**

"...Um..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Moving on."

**"Is the third most popular character in the Sonic the Hedgehog Franchise, followed by Sonic and Shadow."**

"Followed or following?"

"There is NO way I'm not the number one favorite in my own franchise!"

"I could beat you at that, Faker."

"yea, but you got all the fangirls drawing you all buff. It's weird."

"Still more."

"...I hate you."

"I hate you too, Faker."

**"Is said to be the most powerful Sonic the Hedgehog character after Cheese the Chao."**

"HEY! I'm powerful!"

"Kid, _Sonic_ could bench-press more than you."

"Is that supposed to be insulting to me, Knucklehead?"

"You have terrible upper-body strength, hedgehog."

"...No..."

"Just keep reading and stop lying to yourself."

**"Tails is the only reason Sonic's Friends exist (except Amy, she's a whole another matter), and as such fans of the other characters such as Knucles, Shadow, Big, Chip, etc. shall bow down to Tails for allowing their favorite characters to exist. ALL HAIL, TAILS."**

"...What the hell?"

"I'm with you for once, Shadow. What?"

**"Tails' intelligence surpasses every member of the Robotnik family combined by infinity. Fact."**

"...I actually have to agree with that, Tails."

"Thank you."

"then again, Eggy's an idiot, so that doesn't say much."

"SOOOOONIIIIIIIC!"

"Is it over, hedgehog?"

"Yea, it's over, Knux."

"Next up, Shadow."

"Why are you both grinning like drunk hyenas?"

* * *

That wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be. Oh well. Hopefully Shadow's will make up for it.

Hope you enjoyed, and review if you did!


End file.
